TRANS·PAR·ENT - [trans-pair-uhnt]; adj. SO SHEER AS TO PERMIT LIGHT THROUGH

I have a problem. I have a problem asking for things from people, things like help and support. But this week I have really been blessed with a great realization that the reason why I have this problem is because I'm not supposed to ask people for help. I am not supposed to rely on people. If we are all in the same boat, wouldn't I really only be asking myself how? All of this may sound strange but in reality God should be my only source of strength and support. When we ask for support and help we must acknowledge that we are asking God through reflections of himself, man. And because of this, we mustn't ask each other for support.. we should ask that God support us through each other. It's the principle of putting God first within our asking; seeking God first. It's actually quite beautiful, this realization. I've had thoughts of what it means to be a transparent person, but this is the first time I'm seeing that we are all transparent. Each being is created in the image of God, and each exhibits aspects of that very God. Therefore looking at each being as a transparent figure, we see God. He radiates through us, lives in us, and permeates all that is. All of these realizations have come about lately because I have found myself in a super vulnerable state. In exactly two weeks I will arrive in Cairo, Egypt and begin my new journey where I seek to understand and explain. I look forward to this greatly, but the anticipation and proximity of this change has planted an unwanted fear within me. I feel that I have been provided with a sufficient lack of support and that has caused me much despair in the last few days. I found myself somewhat angry with this, but yesterday I really started to ask if this fear and hurt was justified. I determined that it is not. If I need help and support I need to seek first God to provide it for me. He wants to support me in any way and it is stupid that I projected my anger on others for a need that I possessed that they could not possibly anticipate without my asking. I wanted them to provide for me, when in actuality, that is an impossibility. Again, support cannot be provided from others, support can be provided from God and through others. I pray I remember how beautiful this all encompassing transparency is; that we remember how beautiful God's love for us is. If we need anything, we need not be afraid to ask, for God is benevolent. Matthew reminds us of this.. Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you (7:7).